where you at?

You may have heard of Oswald Chambers, a wise guy who relentlessly encouraged others to die to self and recklessly pursue Christ. Well today on this website this was the entry.

"The gospel of Jesus Christ always forces a decision of our will. Have I accepted God’s verdict on sin as judged on the Cross of Christ? Do I have even the slightest interest in the death of Jesus? Do I want to be identified with His death— to be completely dead to all interest in sin, worldliness, and self? Do I long to be so closely identified with Jesus that I am of no value for anything except Him and His purposes? The great privilege of discipleship is that I can commit myself under the banner of His Cross, and that means death to sin. You must get alone with Jesus and either decide to tell Him that you do not want sin to die out in you, or that at any cost you want to be identified with His death. When you act in confident faith in what our Lord did on the cross, a supernatural identification with His death takes place immediately. And you will come to know through a higher knowledge that your old life was “crucified with Him” (Romans 6:6). The proof that your old life is dead, having been “crucified with Christ” (Galatians 2:20), is the amazing ease with which the life of God in you now enables you to obey the voice of Jesus Christ.

Every once in a while our Lord gives us a glimpse of what we would be like if it were not for Him. This is a confirmation of what He said— “. . . without Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). That is why the underlying foundation of Christianity is personal, passionate devotion to the Lord Jesus. We mistake the joy of our first introduction into God’s kingdom as His purpose for getting us there. Yet God’s purpose in getting us into His kingdom is that we may realize all that identification with Jesus Christ means."

where we at? complacent? kickin it? content (in not a good way)? or are we uncomfortable until we let go? until we forsake our stinkin arrogant pride and selfishness?

I spoke with a dear friend recently about various struggles they are facing. The conclusion we reached was that when we are down on our knees, not understanding, begging for healing, it doesnt matter that it doesnt make sense. Surrender is what matters. Jesus is what matters. Recently, a pastor said that God does not care necessarily how hard our circumstances are, he is not concerned with this. He cares about our hearts. And whatever it takes to get our hearts so wrapped up in Him- He will allow.
yea, its scary. trusting is scary. but this is what it means to be held.  

Grown-ups know things

What's my life if it's not praising You?- Lecrae

Grown-ups know things. They know things about the weather, about politics, about theology, about finances. They know the world turns and will keep turning.  They know some friends were never really friends at all and that broken hearts do heal. They know days have come, days have gone, and more days are around the corner. They know what is a big deal, and what isn't the end of the world. They know when to hold em and when to fold em. They know when to press on and when to give up. I envy their wisdom.  I want to possess the knowledge of the many adults I know without having to walk through the trials they have.  I want their wisdom in my life right now. But it again comes down to waiting it out, seeking the Lord, and letting the storm pass. There's no use in being impatient or distraught, answers take questions. and, sometimes, long extended periods of questions. When we can't see or feel the answers or we don't know what wisdom to apply or even what to seek out... When we just don't know anything, we KNOW the rescue is COMING.

"Give me something brighter
Give me something I can see

Give me something vicious
Give me something sacred
Something worth fighting for
Give me an answer
Give me the way out
Give me the faith
To believe in these hard times
Show me how to move
When I can't feel that you're around" -Needtobreathe




We are the Outsiders. (needtobreathe)

stop lights and rail road crossings

we wait. we wait for the storm to pass, for the sun to shine, for sickness to leave our frail and exhausted bodies. we wait the phone to ring, for the doctor to tell us results, for answers from an interview. we wait for people to change, for our cars to be ready at the shop, for paint to dry, and for songs and seasons to be over. we wait it out. we stop and wait. we wait just a minute.

"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodous 14:14

Deut. 1:29-30 "...'Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the desert. There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place.'"

so we wait, we hold on, we sit tight. we wait for answers that may never come, for people that may never change, and for seasons that seem as if they will go on forever.

in the words of my girl christina from grey's anatomy,

"In some ways, betrayal is inevitable. When our bodies betray us, surgery is often the key to recovery. When we betray each other, the path to recovery is less clear. We do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust that was lost. And then there are some wounds, some betrayals... that are so deep, so profound that there is no way to repair what was lost. And when that happens, there's nothing left to do but wait."

"I am still confident of this:
       I will see the goodness of the LORD
       in the land of the living.

Wait for the LORD;
       be strong and take heart
       and wait for the LORD." Psalm 27:13-14



just like the sound of music

why hello, grettings, how's the weather, how's your mom, aloha, sianora, so on and so forth

I apologize a million times over for my lack of updates. life happens, the weather gets colder, i get awfully depressed because my blessed summer has left till next year and I fail to update the ol bloggy blog.

these are a few of my favorite things: (like the sound of music, God bless Julie Andrews)

* my new car, love love loooove it! (I am singing this) I was in much need of a safer, more hip set of wheels and now I am cruisin like carnival.

* my cool friends who are grown ups. I crashed at my pal katee's house while her husband was out of town. yes, she is married, has a super cool house that she decorated all by herself (well, tyler helped too) and is one year older than me. This girl is cool. check out her flippin awesome home renovations here !

This candy. I love it. I could eat a whole bag. And sometimes I do.

* I love this shampoo. I bought it because it was on sale at target, and part of the proceeds went to St. Jude's Hospital, which I also love. But this stuff works, no lie. I have long been haunted by my horrid straight hair that is prone to having split ends (gasp) shocker, i know. I've used this stuff a few days and I feel like I have been transformed into a beauty queen. See ya breaky hair, hello beautiful wonder.

* I love blazers and hats. they are my thing this winter. and maybe forever. i love them, have to have them, I just absolutely go ga-ga over them. I started buying blazers this summer at the cool outlets in Branson (they really are cool, no sarcasm) And my cool grown up friend Katee has recently shown me that I too can wear hats. So if by some chance you come across either one and feel like suprising me, I wouldn't stop you.

* I love when friends ask me to pick them up at the airport. I love love double love this. I think the airport is one of the coolest most mod places in all the earth. I love to travel, I love turbulence, I love seeing people bustling to their destinations, I was born to fly. And I love being asked to help out, honestly, I do. So if you ever need a lift from the airport, consider me your personal taxi service. This guy is coming to see this girl, one of my best pals, and I am shuttling him from the super cool airport.

* I love old friends. As the saying goes, you can make new friends, but you can never make old ones. My grandfather always tells me that. And there's wisdom in our elders. I am blessed to have lots of old friends. I would do anything for any of my old friends. Through the years, i have moved, they have moved, people have passed away, life moments have happened. But somehow, we've stayed friends. I got to talk to talk to this one tonight. We became best friends on the first day of fourth grade (oh the pictures i could show you) and never looked back. She moved back to her home state summer before ninth grade, but we still talk a great deal, our fams keep in touch, the whole nine yards. We are even going to start a business when we graduate. She is great and loves the Lord and loves to tell people about Him. I am so happy I know her!

There is nothing like an old friend.

Don't get me wrong, I love my new friends too. Because they'll become the old ones someday.

Kari Jobe (and Kim Hill) sing a song called You are Still Holy. This has been my anthem lately. These are the lyrics that resonate within every part of my soul.

"Holy, You are still holy
Even though I don't understand Your ways
Sovereign, You will be sovereign
Even when my circumstances don't change

Lord, I don't deserve your tender patience
When my unbelief has kept me from Your truth
I want my life to be a sweet devotion
To You

And so I come into Your chamber
And I dance at Your feet, Lord
You are my Saviour
And I'm at Your mercy
All that has been in my life
Up 'til now
It belongs to You
I belong to You"

Be thankful for today! And the many blessings, we never know how long we will have them!
Lydia Sherrill

stripped

"'Ah, stubborn children,' declares the LORD, 'who carry out a plan, but not mine, and who make an alliance, but not of my Spirit'....For thus said the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel,'In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.'" Isaiah 30:1, 15

These people are some of my favorites from the wonderful people I worked with this summer.  Abbie is a stud at volleyball and plays at BIOLA in Cali.  Liz, or "Boomer" is hilarious and took the kamp dog home with her.  Her co, KatRose is a southern belle from the blessed state of Mississippi and is know for shouting, more importantly for shouting things like "GET IN MY POCKET." and "I'M SO AMPED RIGHT NOW." Miss Caroline works for the U.S. Respresentative from Georgia and loves to talk politics and be witty.  We were kampers together in ninth grade and she told me she didn't think I was a Chrisitian. We have since reconciled and are now just the best of pals.  Shannon is from the North, somewhere in Wisconsin, I think.  She is funny because she is from the north, but also because she is very clever. We all like her and hope she will move to the southern half of the U.S. one day.  And my wonderful co, "coco" Ali.  I didn't know her at all when they put us in a cabin together, but she became one of my best friends at kamp.  As fate would have it, we are the same person and share the same sarcasm, bluntness, and love of life.  We had so much fun and i was devastated when she left.

As previously alluded to, I spent the whole three months of my summer working at Kamp.  I worked, played, laughed, cried, and lived at Kanakuk.  To answer your question, yes it was hard, but the incredible and intense blessing far outwieghed any moments of difficulty. 

For the first half, i was a counselor.  I was in awe of my Kampers' intense desire to seek the Lord.  I was amused by their jokes, amazed by their hearts, and blessed by their yearning to serve God.  The Lord graciously allowed me to see Him and life through their eyes.

The second half of the summer I worked in the office.  I worked last summer and this summer as a counselor, so I have never seen the other side of kamp.  I was humbled and challenged as we worked on the tasks that hold kamp together. I got to observe the leadership team, kitchen staff, ropes crew, and directors very closely and learned so much about the dynamics of kamp and the complexities of people.

The Lord stripped my bare this summer. It took an entire summer in Lampe, Missouri but I came back into Dallas holding nothing.  He called me to let go of things, of people, and to just trust.  He allowed some wonderful people and really cool things to walk out of my life and some wonderful people and really cool things to walk into my life.  And through it all, he beckoned me to rest in Him, to allow Him to hold me through it all. When I didn't understand, in my immense joy and deep sorrow, in the times of incredible fun and in the lulls of the day, He asked me to trust in Him.  The dust is still settling, I don't really know where everything fits, where I fit, or what the purpose wqasin it all,  but  I know the Lord will allow time to reveal.  Through the whole summer, when I had nothing left to hold onto, I found how utterly important my faith is to me.  When my world was being wrecked, the Lord graciously allowed my faith to be strengthened.  My faith is the reason I live and breathe, the reason i exist.  I don't know what this next year holds, but I know Who holds my year.