well well well. hello there bloggies. salutations, how goes it?
Sometimes I like to get stuck in these ruts where I am faced with a decision and think about it so much, from every angle, for so long that I literally just freeze up and lay down and defeat and paralysis. It's really cool. So cool that it kinda stops my whole life and I usually have a minor (major) freak-out moment where I cry or break something or buy a nine thousand dollar dress. One out of those three options might be true, the other two are probably lies. but who wants to admit they cry, riiiight??? amiright amiright? Last night whatever you want to call it hit the fan, I FREAKED over a decision that's not really even a decision but maybe really is and broke down and called my political and foreign affairs advisor. really i called my best friend, but I like to refer to her with titles, duh. ooooooo man. first of all, she is the wisest person I know. Maybe even wiser then all the adults I know. Is that too bold to say? well, it's true, so I have no apologies for you. On top of that though, her wisdom is presented with such grace and from such a humble and surrendered heart that I actually listen to her. I don't listen to many people. I mean, yea, their problems, but give advice on my problems? yea...probably not going to listen to you. But I listen to her. And my family. And that's about it. ya'll, what. grace. seriously. the grace that I got to experience through her words was so real and if I can let it sink through my tough shell, I am quite sure, will be very freeing. She graciously listened to me talk like I belonged in a psych ward and kindly said she was in no place to give me advice (really, she is, remember? wisest person I know...keep up ya'll) but gave me so much more then she could imagine. In all of it, what stuck with me most was that she reminded me, whatever decision I make, God's grace is bigger then that. So I really put forth my best effort and out of my truest intentions make the wrong decision? How unbelievably arrogant of me to think God's grace is not bigger then that. She encouraged me to make a decision and walk in it for awhile. And if the people in my life are disappointed or don't agree or are hurt, that is their expectations and stipulations, not my failure. the tears even pour now at this present moment just thinking of the grace offered to me in that very truth. Whatever decision I make, if it doesn't work, I have not failed. I am not a failure. I have sought the Lord and will walk in what I think is the path, but if it doesn't work, that is okay. how freeing.
How cool that we get to walk in this. Grab hold of it ya'll. Grab life by the horns, and make a freekin decision. And then walk in the results of the decision in freedom and in grace.
Don't you wish you had a political and foreign affairs advisor as wise as mine? I know, right?
go forth and live, ya'll.
xoxo Lyd
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