Seasons end. That's the great thing. They don't last forever. Winter leaves. It's like that in nature- so is it like that in life too? It's gotta be. This semester, for whatever reason, I have had six people in my life leave this world and go to the other side of eternity. For some, we begged for healing from the sickness that raged inside their bodies. We pleaded with the Healer and Creator to come, to rescue, to heal. And he did- He healed them on the other side of eternity. He is still a Healer. But, He didn't heal them on this earth. And I don't get it. And let's just get very honest here, I am mad. And the other people, sweet, precious people who did good here on this earth and loved their families and their friends and were so much fun- they were taken in an instant. No warning, no sickness, just gone. just tragedy. And it doesn't make sense. And my God, my faithful Redeemer, the one who loves me and holds me through the anger and anguish, He's big enough to deal with my questions. I don't know what to ask, not just yet. Right now, all I can say is "God, I'm angry" and "God, this hurts" And He knows. And He's not leaving. And He still loves me.
For those of you stuck in this place, it's okay. It is. It's okay to grieve. Don't you dare force yourself to fake a smile when good-meaning, but very, very stupid people say "It was just their time" "Look for the good in this" and "They wouldn't want you to feel like this" I want to BACK-HAND every person who says these things. True or not- we are meant to grieve. We grieve because they were good, they were full of life, they were dear to us, and they were loved. And we mourn them because they will be missed.
God's okay with this. And I am too. He is loving hanging out with these six people up in heaven, I bet their having an absolute blast. But I'm gonna miss having a blast with them down here.
My friend Holle showed me these songs- man, are they GOOD! for those of you walking through this too, take a listen- they helped me.
"When we’ve given up
Let Your healing come
When there’s nothing left
Let Your healing come"
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